Sex, drugs, and Rock ‘N Roll! — the myth we all heard when we first got into rock music. We’ve been force-fed since childhood a rock ‘n roll fantasy that is simply that: a fantasy. A fantasy that people take to heart and try to make real, whatever the cost and no matter how much pain they create doing so. “Sex, drugs, and Rock ‘N Roll” is a outdated motto. It’s not safe and it’s not okay — it’s on the same level of “Boys will be Boys.” People in the music industry have gotten away with all sorts of cruelty under the name of “Sex, drugs, and Rock ‘N Roll” and we need to stop that from continuing.
As a woman who has loved a different band in almost every year of her 22 years on this Earth, I’m tired. Every single month, now it seems like every week, I wake up to another favorite band of mine being exposed as sexual predators. It is mentally draining for me as a supporter of these bands, but I will never be able to feel how much worse the victims feel. How bad I feel is a small amount to what they feel, but I understand their pain and I wish they were treated better. I’m tired of feeling this way, of feeling upset, heartbroken, and angry. Tired of my heart hurting for girls who are just like me — girls who loved the music, who loved and trusted a band that turned out to be cruel, and I wonder if anything like that could happen to me. I wonder if there's anything I or anybody else can do to make all of this stop from ever happening again.
Recently, with the truth coming out about The Buttertones and SWMRS, people are finally starting to pay attention to what we’ve been saying and talking about all along. The message is simple: don’t be a sexual predator, don’t abuse women, don’t degrade women. But it’s a message that historically, men in (rock) music have been unable to hear, unable to understand.
The message is simple: don’t be a sexual predator, don’t abuse women, don’t degrade women.
We need to keep challenging toxic masculinity, keep calling out misogyny, keep fighting against disgusting, criminal behavior that so many rock bands, so many scenes put up with. In the past, there's been so much of this and I think it’s well beyond about time for us to work together and end this toxic culture. There's not much you can do about the past other than be aware of it and learn from it, to do better from it. Rock has never been a safe space for women, and even less so for non-binary people. Too many cis-gendered men have dominated what seems like all the scenes, have controlled so much of the music, have had so much power and it’s not right. We need to end blindly worshiping a guy in a band just because he might be talented or good-looking. Musical skills matter, yes, but character and morals should be on a much higher level.
Everyone knows and loves Led Zeppelin, a rock band who made a remarkable impact on rock history & the world, but they’re just like the rest. Led Zeppelin had a member who was a sexual predator just like the ones being called out now — Jimmy Page. There’s no denying the facts – he dated (‘dated’ used lightly here - it’s actually called statutory rape) a 14-year old girl who at the time, was called a “baby groupie” in 1972, named Lori Maddox when he was 27 years old. It might have been the social norm back then, but we can clearly see now that it wasn’t okay or right.
You can’t like Led Zeppelin and think they’re a perfect band, not after you know this, because they’re not. That behavior should have been as unacceptable back then as it is now, and it’s a shame that it wasn't. There’s not much you can do about artists of the past but be aware of it, be a conscious listener. You can learn how they’re problematic, be aware of who you’re supporting right now that is active, you can choose to believe women over a song if you can. We can’t de-platform Led Zeppelin, we can’t call out Jimmy Page, what he did has been done, but what we can do now is make sure the bands that are thriving now aren’t made up of members like him. Members who are men that abuse young girls who support and love them, men that abuse and bask in the power imbalance they have over others, men that think they’re gods & nobody can touch them, men that are narcissistic, egotistical, that are creeps, rapists, molesters - horrible men who shouldn't have a platform or a part in the music. It should be about the music first & always, and keeping things safe & good should go hand in hand with that.
This isn't only about the men in bands, or even just the men at all – this is about every man in the music industry, every man in every scene in any part of it who perpetrates this toxic mentality and culture, and the women & non-binary people in the music industry who take part in perpetrating this toxic culture as well. Women & non-binary people can rape too, women & non-binary people can do and say horrible things too, we should hold everyone of every gender just as accountable as we hold men. This will never end if we place all the blame on one specific gender, but, we should start with holding men accountable because they’re the main ones creating all of this pain. We started the conversation talking about men, but we cannot let the sentence stop there if we want things to be safer and better for everyone.
This is a burden we all have to carry and work together to heal & recover from. We need to create safe spaces in whatever scene we’re in; we need to have zero tolerance for predators, for creeps, for abusive, sexist language & actions, for all of this and more. We have to keep talking about it, keep educating ourselves and others, keep addressing it, keep calling it out or it will never end. The change starts with us. It should have started decades ago but what’s done is done, and we can only move forward and work to make things better now.
Some resources for fighting against sexual abuse and gender inequality in the music industry:
Safe Gigs For Women (UK)
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